Abusive relationships are interesting...how you become so disillusioned. Thinking you deserve such pain. Thinking everything they say about you is true. How did I become so accustomed to it? How did I look in the mirror that day unable to even recognize myself and still think that I loved him? Of course, alcohol and self mutilation helped I suppose. But, let's face it. He was a total loser. I was a general manager supporting him despite abuse, anorexia, and alcoholism. How in the world did I make it through? It got to the point where all he had to do was have that look in his eyes and make steps towards me and I would instantly tremble uncontrollably. I stayed because I was scared. I tried to leave so many times. Restraining orders don't do a thing. It's a piece of paper. That's it. He stalked me and made my life a living hell. And he never had to pay for what he did. It infuriates me to this day, but I know I need to somehow forgive him in my heart. I'm still hurting.

Another Early Poem....

I remember it so well.
It was right above our head...
I thought for sure at any moment...
Our family would be dead.

But, they were looking up....
Just utterly amazed.
While I shivered in a corner.
My eyes were in a daze.

They ran to look at it.
It was a funnel cloud.
I was so terrified.
They were not around!

They left me there with grandpa...
Who...by the way...I loved.
But, for crying out loud!
There was a funnel cloud above!

I was maybe ten years old.
I don't really know.
All that I know now....
The storm will always echo

You are asking for an attack....
On the beating of my heart.
I'm still scared to death of storms.
It would only take a spark.

But, yet, now I am amazed...
And love to sit and stare.
At pictures of the clouds...
Get near one...would I dare?

Hmm...I don't know.
I think perhaps I would.
Because it truly was amazing.
I think I probably should.

Because fear we must get past.
No matter what it is.
So, I'm still scared of storms...
But, I will conquer this.

~~👀👀😨😐😯😨😐😯👀👀~~Jennifer Renee :)~~

To anyone who may read this...one of the first poems. Definitely not the very first. I will try to find it. I will post several today...please let me know what you think. I'd really appreciate it!

There was once a dog named Lacy
Who tried to saved my life.
While his mother looked away...
I tried to stay alive.

Lacy barely even knew me.
But, barked an angry growl.
At her owners son.
She let out an angry howl.

I will never forget Lacy.
Because she tried to give me care
Despite others lack of it.
Despite their being there.

A dog is a protector.
A dog senses danger...
Dog's are very precious.
I was just a stranger.

They were her family.
They were the ones she knew.
She did not know of me,
But, now I love her too.

So the next time that you see...
A dog sensing something weird...
I would just take heed.
There may be something you should fear.

So, Lacy is in heaven,
But, Lacy saved my life that day.
She was such a blessing.
And she kept me okay...

~~☺Thank you, Lacy!🐕🐶🐶🐶🐕Love you, Lacy!☺~~

Jennywenny. com

First Blog Ever:

Clearly I am new at this, so I will just start with the fact that I love to write poetry. I was recently on an app where I have written over 1,000 quotes. It seems that I am still socially quite shy and always have been. I'll sum up my life rather quickly, then get into details later...probably share poetry to see if anyone at all out there likes it. So...I was raised in a Christian family. I'm the black sheep so to speak. I was wild for a long time. Wound up with the wrong man who abused me for nearly a decade. I became an alcoholic during this time. Gave my children up for adoption because I was of no use and they couldn't be in that environment. I was also anorexic for almost as long as I was an alcoholic. The abuser ended up cheating on me too. He tried to kill me too many times to count, yet is still at it. While I have bad dreams and PTSD. I got out of the relationship because of my current husband. He saved me. I'll have it at that for now...